many things had been passed...
i don't even know whether is good or bad..
well...one thing is good was about to come though...
that is my birthday...im still gathering some money for my birthday...
i got a habit for myself...during my birthday...i will spend ppl whom i invite to eat something nice...which mostly i invite is my cousins...
they all said that i shouldn't waste my money like that...which i don't really agree of it
i don't feel sad if i spend all the money on my birthday...cos i think its worth it
if money spend...still can earn it back...
wad i wanted the most is...all of them is having fun that day
i want my birthday to be day that our cousins can gather together...have fun together..and could pull the relationship more closer....
a day that when we mention of it...we will remember all the good and fun things that we used to did on my past birthdays...
soo seriously....i don't care bout how much money i spend on that day...because its really worth it
a good memory on it...its simply priceless to me.

days have been passed...and i still haven't find the fund for my educations yet..
actually i was kinda afraid of it....its been soo long since the last time i have really studied...
im not sure that i could really handle all the stress that is about to come...
i was afraid that everything was happen too fast...
still remember one of my cousins says that....God's work is really fast...whether u like it or not...u are apart of it...and there is not turning back.
i really do understand this words...but sometimes its kinda hard to accept it
i was afraid that...i will dissapoint everyone that had put hope on me
And i know the feeling of dissapointed ppl...its really bad..i really hate it...cos past of my life..
all i do...is dissapoint ppl around me..and i really dont want this to happen anymore.
all i can really do is....do with all my best on it...soo i won't have any regreat on it.
One of my cousins still said that...In future what ever difficulties or stress that u might be facing..
just remember that all this things...is making u to be a more better and improvised person..
and always Thank God for it...
this word's reminds me of a phrase...What Ever He Do,He Do It Because He Loves Me
And my cousins also prophecied one thing to me...is that in future...i will be a great leader...
which i don't really have the confident to be one...but i really do hope that i could be a great leader in future...but anyways...i'll put all this on the hand's of God...let him plan for my future..and my destiny...all i can do is that...be myself and what ever i do ...i will give all my best on it.And thanks phoebe...ur advice had really touches my heart..and i will always remember it.